Sign of the Times

I had a song going through my head on Sunday as I was driving around the North Shore. It was the classic '60s hippie anthem “Sign, sign everywhere a sign” by the Five Man Electrical Band.

It was surely inspired by a few curious signs along the way.

BROWN DEER ROAD GOES SOUTH?

One was a seemingly directionally-challenged sign on southbound I-43 referencing a “Brown Deer Road South” exit. I understand that the designated direction of roadways doesn’t always correspond with the direction they are going at all times.  Take Interstate 94 for example. The preponderance of the listed “east/west” I-94’s 1,585 mile route from Port Huron, Michigan to Billings, Montana is indeed east/west.  However, like many area residents, I think of it as a north/south route as I’ve driven the 90 mile route between Milwaukee and Chicago thousands of times in the last two decades. 

I should be used to deceptive directional signs, but I think this Brown Deer sign is new. Brown Deer Road of course, unlike I-94, is an exclusively east/west road from beginning (124th Street) to end (Schlitz Audubon Nature Center). So I was a bit confused with the apparent south bound notation. Upon closer inspection however, I believe the DOT used “South” on the sign in reference to Hwy 32, not to Brown Deer Road. Even that is a bit confusing, though. Highway 32, aka the Red Arrow Highway, is east/west at the exit and doesn’t turn south until it becomes Lake Drive, 1.1 miles east of the interstate.

CULVER'S CONFUSION

Even more curious was a set of four signs in the Shorewood Culver’s parking lot off Capitol Drive.  Normally in Culver’s über-efficient drive-thru they take your order, take your money, hand you a plastic number and ask you to pull ahead to wait for your food to be delivered.  If they get backed up or if you order something out of the norm that may take a little more time, they’ll ask you to pull into one of four numbered parking spaces to the right.

The other day I ordered a simple butter burger deluxe with fries.  There were three cars ahead of me waiting and no place to go, so the nice lady at the window handed me my change and asked me to proceed to space number one.  Simple enough, I thought, until I came upon this mind bender:  The signs indicating parking spaces #1, #2, #3 and #4 were placed behind striped asphalt spaces that were painted in bright yellow #4, #3, #2 and #1 respectively.  After a moment of hesitation, I opted for space #1/#4.  I must have selected wisely as despite the confusing numerical order, the correct food order found its way to my car.

CHURCH FOR SALE

On the way home from Culver’s, I passed a curious sign in front of Whitefish Bay’s Roundy’s Memorial Baptist Church.

I suppose one could argue that there are actually three curious signs in front of the church.  I’ve always found it a bit curious that a Baptist Church would share the name of Southeastern Wisconsin’s most well known wholesale grocer, so the sign referencing “Roundy” and “Church” together was curious.  And thanks to research for this blog post I discovered that Judson Roundy, who co-founded the wholesale grocer in 1872, bequeathed funds to new Baptist Churches in Wisconsin and the Whitefish Bay church chose to honor him in 1937 with one of America’s earliest naming rights deals as . The research also shed light on the second curious sign at the church - the sign in Korean. Apparently in an attempt to make ends meet and help out a homeless church, Roundy Memorial contracts out its basement to the Korean Presbyterian Church.

The real curious sign though is the “FOR SALE” sign staked into the ground in front of the church. Church buildings don’t change ownership every day and when they do, it’s usually a quiet behind the scenes transaction. I guess if I read the Whitefish Bay Patch more closely, I would have seen from last month that said the building was put up for sale in April due to congregation shrinkage.

So how much do you suppose the asking price is for a nearly 75-year-old church?  According to this listing, you could become the proud owner of the Roundy Memorial Church building and lot for $695,000. Not sure what the zoning restrictions are, though it’s listed as residential. It has a pretty sizable lot (216’ x 134’) and the 13,000-square-foot sanctuary building finished in 1951 includes a peaked roof that would be the envy of any of your friends who think they have large cathedral ceilings.

The listing description points out the Roundy Memorial Baptist Church’s unique features:

Location location location! Excellent Whitefish Bay location, a large well kept lannon stone building, sanctuary seating approx 300, offices, study, 6 classrooms, and a separate chapel. Parlor, library, fellowship hall, full kitchen, 22 potential parking spaces. Lower level partially exposed, a very cheerful bright sanctuary. Nicely landscaped site, quality throughout.

As Tesla sang in their cover of the Five Man Electrical Band’s hit:

And the sign said, "Everybody welcome, come in, kneel down and pray"
But when they passed around the plate at the end of it all
I didn't have a penny to pay
So, I got me a pen and a paper and I made up my own little sign
I said, "Thank you, Lord, for thinkin' 'bout me, I'm alive and doin' fine.

Sign, sign, everywhere a sign
Blockin' out the scenery, breakin' my mind
Do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign?

Sign, sign, everywhere a sign
Sign
Sign, sign