This past January, we said goodbye to our 15 year old lab, Jessie Mae. While her passing was inevitable, the lingering sadness remains. It took me a good month to “come out of it” and out of the blue, many days, I burst into tears remembering my beloved girl and all of her wonderfulness. Forget the joy she brought us-that goes without saying.
We still have three remaining, young, healthy (although this past month has been allergy hell….with one needing ear hematoma surgery) standard poodles who fill us with constant joy, love and big, wet kisses. One has been with us just a short year-a puppy mill stud rescued last June. The other two we rescued at 12 weeks and 6 months, respectively. What permeates over my thoughts is, how will we go through this again? It seems just when you get to know them, adore them, and give your entire heart to them...they say goodbye.
I don’t think that I can go through it again. I fear that I will fall into an emotional oblivion and never be able to function successfully without my “Little Bit”.
When I look at my female standard, Dixie, I feel the most love I’ve ever felt for any one/anything-inclusive of my husband and close family members….honestly, MORE than family members. We have an uncanny kinship that only pet owners experience; an emotional bond of love and need-for each other. Having known her since 12 weeks old, I’m particularly fond of her sweetness, her bravery and her gusto for chasing the world. She perceives it fearlessly-a trait I admire. She’s yet to meet another dog she didn’t like and is a great ambassador for the breed. And to think she was born from a puppy mill mom who didn’t have the same opportunities.
I digress from my inevitable pain. Is there a way to work this out in my mind so I don’t focus on her death, but celebrate her life-every day? Is there a way to NOT think about this? Is there a way to prepare oneself for that fated day we all must walk? How do you handle it?